My daughter shaved her head

My daughter shaved her head.

"It's only half shaved Mom!" she said as I stared in horror at her bald scalp.

I'd seen her scalp before, of course. Back when she was an infant and it took forever for her hair to grow in. She'd been the baldest baby for far too long, but once her hair came in, the wait had all been worth it. She had the most beautiful golden curls. People remarked on the beauty of it, and I was so proud of it. I'd thought never to see that bald scalp again.

Once she became a teenager, Cairo started experimenting with the colour, going from blonde to darker hues until finally settling on what she liked to call "Rihanna-red". My Mother disapproved, of course, but I've always thought the teen years are the exact time when you should be experimenting with your looks. Besides, I think she really suits the colour.

Twenty-five years ago, I'd been rather experimental with my own looks. It was the 80's and the clubs we went to were all New Wave. I tried different styles, going shorter and shorter with crazy colours. I'd sign up with hairdressers to get free dye jobs for being their hair model. They liked me because I'd let them do what they wanted. At one point I had 10 colours and lines shaved in my head.

My Mother hated it and was embarrassed. My Grandmother said things like "You're such a pretty girl. Why do you want to ruin it like that?" If I'd been living at home still, I'd never have been allowed to do it. But I was 19 and living on my own. The only problem I had was with work. No one would have ever taken me seriously like that, so I eventually grew up, got a normal hairstyle, and moved on. My family was relieved.

I always figured I'd be a very open Mother about these sorts of things, since I understood the desire to be different and try crazy things. So when Cairo brought her friend Nadya over to show me the style she wanted to have, it seemed like a pretty cool thing to do. Nadya had a small patch at the front of her hair cut very close to the scalp. It was long everywhere else and was cut so that, if she wanted to, she could just swoop some hair over and you wouldn't even see the short hair there. I really liked it and agreed Cairo could do something similar.

I waited patiently at the coffee shop down the road. It seemed to be taking an awfully long time, but I had my tablet with a good book, and a coffee, so it was an easy wait. When she came in the door with a huge smile on her face, demanding to know what I thought, I didn't know what else to say, except ...

"Ohmygawd, you're bald!"

The entire left side of her head was completely shaved off. From the front, all the way to the middle at the back, the hair was gone. The top and side was a mass of Rihanna-red curls. I loved the right side, her hair looked so beautiful. I was horrified at the left.

"But don't you like it Mom?" her smile began to falter. All I could think of was that I needed to get out of there, just get to the car, get her out of this very public space.

When we got to the car she asked me again, "Don't you like it Mom?" and I lost my temper. "Why would you do this Cairo? It's horrible! You shaved your head! We didn't agree on this!" And she started to cry.

"I know! I didn't know she'd take it all off. I didn't mean to have this happen!" She replied.

My first mistake was letting her go to a hairdresser who has both sides of her head shaved. My second mistake was letting her go in alone. But I'd been letting her go in alone for years, and she'd always come out looking exactly as I'd expected her to look ... a full head of hair ... on both sides. Talk about bad hair days. This was the worst.

I tried to put a good face on for her sake. She was feeling very worried about it, especially after a friend came over and was as shocked as I'd been about it. I didn't want her to be as embarrassed about it as I felt. That night I couldn't sleep and woke up repeatedly. I cried pretty much all the next day, and was rewarded with a huge headache and red puffy eyes, just in time to go away to San Francisco.

Everyday it gets better though. It's pretty surprising how fast hair grows. It's also surprising at how ones feelings can change. Everywhere we went in San Francisco, people young and old, were telling Cairo how much they loved her hair. The little kids though, just stared at her, as if she were dangerous. No longer could she stop and talk to them and have them respond. I noticed many looks of shock from others, and also probably some disdain, but honestly, it's just hair, after all. It grows back, eventually.

I just hope this is the last time I see that perfectly formed scalp of hers.